Search Continues for Area Man & Woman Too Busy to Train

Authorities are looking for a man and woman who claim to not have three hours per week for physical fitness. With thousands of claims over the phone and internet, authorities are still unsure if the claims are hoaxes or not. 

“It’s just every time we investigate, we find some common themes,” a local detective stated. “The folks we find are either completely free at 5:30 or 6:30 in the morning or wildly misuse their time during the day and confuse it for a full schedule.” 

Is it a hoax?

The phenomenon doesn’t seem to just be local, either. Precincts in counties all over the US claim to have the same excuses for not training submitted to local gyms. 

Another local detective went so far as to say “there’s no such thing.” He went on to say, “We’re on a wild goose chase and all of our leads end up being dead ends. I wouldn’t be surprised if there isn’t a person in the whole city that doesn’t have three hours a week to train.” 

A quick audit of most adult schedules will yield three hours a day of Instagram, let alone three hours a week to exercise. Plus, DEUCE’s Venice location just added 5:30am courses Monday through Friday.