Highlighting Failure: High School Admissions

You see more success in me than you see in yourself. That’s what the psychology literature says, at least. It actually has nothing to do with you or me and what we have or haven’t accomplished. We do this because memories of our failures are more intimate to us than they are to others. 

I want to share stories of failure to help balance the misperception of success. 

This particular failure came at the end of middle school for me. I was fortunate enough to attend private middle and high schools after going to public elementary school. As it goes for most private schools, there is an application process.

I applied to two high schools: Loyola High School and Saint Monica Prep. Loyola is a prestigious all boys school here in downtown Los Angeles and Saint Monica Prep is a co-ed school just north of DEUCE Gym on Lincoln Blvd. in Santa Monica. 

I’ll never forget getting the letter from Loyola in the mail. I had just got home with my dad and we opened the letter together. “We regret to inform you..”

It was a horrible feeling to be “rejected.” I was a good student and a standout athlete, but I didn’t make the cut. I supposed crying through my interview with their dean led to me not getting admitted. I was terrified of public speaking and felt too shy to formulate words in the interview. 

For the record, I cried in my Saint Monica interview, too, but I got in. Upon reflection of high school, it’s easy to play up my career at Saint Monica, which was objectively successful and to leave out the rejection at Loyola. 

I’d be remiss if I left out the supportive environment that I grew up in, however. After my dad and I opened the rejection letter, he said two words to me that helped form my relationship to failure for the rest of my life. His words? 

“Fuck ‘em.”