A Coach’s Attachment Problems

“Don’t get caught wanting something more for someone else than they want it for themselves.” This is a real sentence I’ve said out loud an untold number of times as advice to others. Plain and simple, I’m here to tell you that I’m incredibly guilty of not heeding my own advice. 

Several days into opening DEUCE, one of our first students came walking up wanting to join. As a neighbor on Commonwealth Avenue, she cited our location as the difference maker in joining DEUCE. 

And, I took that personally. 

Selfishly, I wanted her to want to drive from Pasadena to Venice to attend DEUCE if she had to because (clearly) we’re a gym that has immeasurable value separate from convenience. But, she wasn’t there yet. 

If I’m being honest, I want so many things for you. I want you to want to have a remarkable hollow rock. I want you to see that nothing great is coming movement-wise if you can’t get around to building a great push up. But, not everyone is there yet. 

I want you to fall in love with the idea that training doesn’t have to be a hedge against a hedonistic lifestyle. When training is just something you do then it doesn’t need to be your whole personality and it doesn’t need to be punishment for loving dessert, either. But, not everyone is there yet.

I want you to know the paradox of buying into relative intensity over absolute intensity. I want you to want to make incredible choices in the gym to achieve relative intensity because you see that training is different from testing. And, that beating people in workouts ought to only be a result, but never an intention. I want you to relinquish a desire to compare yourself to others.

But, not everyone is there yet. 

I want you to see that the fact that you have edges is the point of life rather than a damper of life. Our edges give us a thing to aim towards improving and that pursuing growth is the meaning of life. I want you to want humility. I want you to want to be curious about how you can be better. But, not everyone is there yet. 

Hell, I’m “not there yet,” either, in a million areas and here I am spending precious time worrying about what y’all want. And, one of the (many) ways I know I’m not there yet is this attachment. Maybe an edge for me is worrying about what others want. Maybe I should stop evangelizing and get to work on my own bullshit. But, hey, we do need a blog article today, so at least we have that.