Despite the Odds a Group of People Gathered, Enjoyed Their Time

One of the many paradoxes of group dynamics is the silent, shared desires that go unmet. Humans are odd characters like that. You put us in groups and we start behaving illogically in ways that specifically keep us from what we want (even when everyone in the group wants the same thing).

Take corporate gyms, for example. Generally speaking, they are sterile places where people are curt, judgy, and unwelcoming to each other. Oh, and they can’t seem to coordinate the space and equipment that is ten times the size and quantity of most boutique gyms that mostly lack such problems.

While I’ve met thousands of people with these experiences, I’ve never met anyone who wishes gyms were this way. So, my question is, where are all the assholes who want gyms to feel crappy? 

There aren’t any! 

What this leads us to is the simple fact that in groups self-seal traps can emerge where despite all members of a group wishing the group were acting differently, it doesn’t pay to do so. As a result, we get stuck. 

What we need instead sometimes is acknowledgement of the elephant in the room and permission to act the way we wish things were.

Just the other day, I witnessed more than twenty people who wouldn’t otherwise feel safe to participate in a strongman competition do so because the way the container was built allowed for people to show up and have a gym experience that was fun, safe, and didn’t succumb to the stereotypes I listed above. 

If you find yourself in a group that is reinforcing things no one wants, I encourage you to be the courageous one to break the cycle. The rest of the group will give a sigh of relief and thank you.