The Mindblowing Truth About Commitments

That’s literally the face I made, too, when I heard a coach explain to me specifically why we make commitments. I was at one of those coaching workshops. Not a workshop for fitness or anything, but one of those workshops for your life. The guy leading the thing asked a simple question:

Why do we make commitments?

I didn’t answer out loud, but my mind went right to things like “so we can get things done” and “so people know what to expect from us” and stuff like that. Frankly, my mind went to the idea that commitments are meant to be executed with total compliance. Yet, his answer surprised me. He said:

“For two reasons: to keep them and to grow.”

That struck me. He followed up with the fact that there isn’t anything particularly useful or powerful in making commitments that are a slam dunk. No one needs you to commit to putting your pants on in the morning just as much as we don’t need co-workers to commit to not murdering each other if someone leaves the watercooler empty. Commitments get interesting when they are hard to keep. And, while this might be controversial. Commitments might be best when they are so challenging that they aren’t always met. 

In fact, this coach went on to teach us how their “Growth Process” is specifically a series of steps performed when commitments are broken as a means to learn and restore integrity! So, how is it that everyone I’ve ever met wants growth and everyone I’ve ever met likely would assert that commitments should never be broken? 

Without giving license to wanton breaking of commitments, I believe there’s immeasurable juice in the squeeze here with declaring difficult commitments and honoring yourself and those you’re committed to when we’re shaken off of that committed foundation. If you’re keeping score at home, it’s not how many commitments you can keep as much as it is how many commitments can your restore when you’ve faltered.