Limiting Beliefs about More Information

For better and for worse, I tend to be hyper-selective about framing – even more specifically, articulating – logic versus intuition as primary evidence for whatever claim is at play. On a surface level, this can be clever. On a deeper level, this is a self-protective, cherrypicking-my-framing-kinda-schpeel that’s limiting.

You see, early in my career as a competitive soccer player, I decided I’d rather know less than more about anatomy. Because, well, I didn’t wanna “jinx” myself; as if I’d get injured for knowing more. Yes, please insert eye roll here..

While fortunately, I never dealt with a serious knee injury as many of my soccer teammates did, my selective negligence didn’t serve me so well when it came to head injuries. “Undiagnosed, a concussion isn’t really a concussion,” I thought. In hindsight, I cringe.

As it turns out, it seems I learned at a young age how to choose the framing for anything in such a way – resourcefully – that not only wouldn’t, but couldn’t allow someone else place blame on me. I saw more information as too tempting of an excuse to employ as a “more socially acceptable reason” to justify something like cry, rather than admit why I was really upset. 

For example, I can remember having strep throat going into a weekend of training with a regional Olympic Development team, and having my mom pick me up early because “I still don’t feel good with the strep.” But really, I was deep enough in the antibiotics not to be contagious, and I was just overwhelmed by the competition on that particular weekend. I look back with grace for my young teenage self, but talk about playing not to lose versus playing to win.. 

All this to say, I’m someone who very much enjoys meaning-making by way of the mystery. Go on and hold your 30 page powerpoint, thank you, I’ll take experience for 500 and unfold perception from there. The difference in naming this difference now versus 10 years ago, however, is an awareness that this is a preference, not a standard. And that understanding through experience doesn’t ever have to be framed as mutually exclusive from understanding through gathering more information.

Perhaps you can relate to not wanting to go to the doctor at some point to confirm the diagnosis of an injury or an illness. What I’ll offer is this: though it might seem overwhelming at times to take in more information – a gentle reminder: more information can provide a greater toolkit for understanding, and that affords you an increased capacity for navigating life.

Know better, do better. Alright? You got this.