Signals

Part of living in and around other people is reading signals. Signals that people are giving to precede their upcoming actions or let you know what they just did. Sharing spaces, sharing roads, and sharing resources requires us to read signals from other people.

A very simple example of this is someone using the blinker in their car. If they have their left blinker on, it tells all drivers around that they are going to make a left turn soon. This works great all the time. After all there are a billion cars in this town, and not everyone gets in wrecks every day.

I am not writing this blog for the signals that people use in the correct sense, however. I am writing this blog for the errant signals that we all deal with that make our existence more challenging. Think of the blinker example. Have you ever been behind the person that leaves there blinker on for nine miles, clearly never turning? It’s the worst and, more often than not, it ends in inconvenience for many others.

I have an example that happened to me. My wife and daughters and I were having breakfast at one of our local favorites. It’s a small coffee shop with a capacity of maybe twenty people to give a bit of context. I went to use the restroom, and I got to the door which was pretty much closed, definitely not locked and secured, but 95% closed. I grabbed the handle and walked in as I believe most people would do. Immediately as I swung the door open, I locked eyes with a mother on the can and her terrified daughter standing next to her. I immediately apologized and shut the door. Fully embarrassed and caught off guard, I returned to my seat trying to forget that I had to pee.

A few minutes later this mother and daughter walked out and literally sat at the table next to us facing me. Now I feel horrible and she is clearly embarrassed and I can’t imagine what this little girl thinks of this big bearded man that busted in on them in the bathroom. Looking back, I probably just should have apologized again to her and her daughter and been done with it. My point by this is just the signals. If you go into the bathroom, shut the door and lock it. Avoid crazy awkwardness for others in your vicinity. If you come out of the bathroom, leave the door open, so others know there is no one in there. No one likes to be surprised in the bathroom, and no one likes to be that person that walks into whatever might be happening in there.

My wife and I witnessed another terrible signal this weekend. We went to the farmers market and there was a car that deliberately parked in the bike lane. They didn’t have their flashers on, and they were clearly no where to be found. I am talking about the part of the road that the city redid in the presidential sense to put in bike lanes. Either this person was just hugely disrespectful to everyone or they just don’t pay any attention to what they are doing. Signals, people. It’s amazing that they didn’t have four flat tires.

This is just a note from all of us that are not you. Pay attention to your blinkers, pay attention to your door etiquette, pay attention to how you park your car, and pay attention to the signals you are putting our there. There are a whole lot of people just trying to go about their day. They are constantly using their best judgement to read the signals you put out. Just make them clear and be aware of others.

Danny Lesslie

@dannylesslie