The Wrong Kind of Disappointment

There’s a certain look in student’s eyes that is unmistakable. It’s disappointment. This particular flavor of disappointment is interesting, however. First, let me say that disappointment, in and of itself, is a household name when it comes to emotions. It’s here to stay and, while it’s no one’s favorite, I don’t think there’s a single thing wrong with it.

The disappointment in an athlete’s face that worries me as a coach is the disappointment that comes from comparison. It’s external. The face comes not from a failure or a missed expectation, it comes from an assumption that he or she ought to be where someone else is it. There’s an faulty assumption that shows up sometimes in and athlete that our differences in the gym matter beyond the individual level.

This face of disappointment pains me not just because it means this person it hurting, it pains me because their hurt is rooted in a misunderstanding of what’s really happening in the gym.

Anyone who knows performance on a basic level knows that we’re all playing some version of the same game. Jay Z, Kevin Costner, and Serena Williams all spend time in a gym working on their fitness. The one thing they have in common is they all have an “edge”. Their edge is the borderline between where they are at with their fitness and we’re they aren’t yet. Sure, Kevin Costner can get all bent out of shape that his 155 pound bench press can’t hold a candle to Jay Z’s 275 pound bench, but that won’t get him any closer to 156 pounds (which is why he’s there in the first place). And, neither Kevin Costner nor Jay Z have any business whining about why Serena is better than them in every single physical expression. This is especially true, because Serena knows better than most anyone that the only way she can actively improve her chances of beating opponents on the court is by beating her old self.

Comparison in the gym is a distraction from the truth. You’re here to move the needle on yourself. Don’t forget that.

Logan Gelbrich

@functionalcoach