Curiosity: Adult Development, Parenting, Improv, and Beyond

Everyone knows the first rule of improv, right? The actors must agree. Agreement unlocks curiosity and possibility regarding what comes next. When one improv star asks the other why he’s wearing a purple cowboy hat (which, of course no one can see and is made up) the sketch only works if the other person agrees that they are wearing a purple hat and builds the story from there. 

“Well, purple is my favorite color,” he could say. “By the way, where’s your horse?” 

And, so goes the sketch. If he responds with simply, “I’m not wearing a purple hat..” the sketch is dead in the water. 

Curiosity about what’s beyond helps more than just improv. 

Adult humans tend to slow down developmentally, especially when compared to the rate of development we experience as children. Much of this is due largely to our diminishing curiosity. Once you feel as though you’ve got a handle on life and how it works, the mind becomes dull by knowing the answer to the question, “What comes next?”

It turns out that the way to super change your adult development is also a key parenting tip. When children behave in a way that feels troublesome, it’s common for tired parents to simply reprimand or punish undesirable behavior. There’s a growth opportunity, however, when we deploy curiosity. If you begin from the premise that undesirable behavior is the only way a small child can communicate their feelings, it begs that question, “What’s my child trying to tell me?”

Curiosity is an inroad to development. 

I like to say when I teach seminars that my audience should hope (and maybe even pray) they are wrong about something. That’s how we grow and that takes curiosity.