Thoughts On Self-Actualization

American psychologist Abraham Maslow was best known for creating his theory, Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. The theory is often simplified with a two-dimensional pyramid graphic displaying basic human needs in the following order: physiological needs, safety needs, love and belonging, self-esteem, and self-actualization. 

Self-actualization comprises the tip of the pyramid. The term self-actualization may feel lofty or even nebulous. What does it mean? 

I was having a conversation with a mentor recently. She said that,

“Self-actualizing is earning a piece of who you are.’’

Earning is a particularly active verb. It implies sweat equity in the process of becoming. I particularly like her definition because, in my experience, the amount we grow is directly proportional to the amount of painful work we are willing to do. 

I dislike the pyramid depiction of Maslow’s theory because it implies a progressive order in which each preceding need must be fulfilled to unlock the next. Maslow articulated that his framework is fluid, meaning different human needs can be present and pursued simultaneously. The argument is often made that without all other needs being fulfilled, one can not reach self-actualization. 

I strongly disagree with this view. Self-actualization largely depends on challenge, struggle, and dissatisfaction. While this can happen with all needs satisfied, my experience has been that the greatest transformations of my life occurred when I had the least amount of needs fulfilled.

The hardest times in my life were when I was on the streets and in prison. Often here, I didn’t have my full spectrum of basic physical needs covered. I certainly did not have safety, love, or self-esteem. Realizing that I was in a hard place and didn’t like who I was served as the most powerful possible catalyst for change. I made the biggest step towards becoming myself as a result of an extreme lack of fulfillment.

I’m not arguing for the artificial creation of hardship or that humans be denied love and safety. However, if we don’t lean into what makes us uncomfortable, we will never know ourselves or realize our potential. 

At DEUCE, we ask, ‘What are you becoming?’ Not ‘What do you think you’ll become?’ 

Here, too, there is the implication of something active. Personal transformation must happen in the trenches. You can’t think yourself into changing; you’ve got to get your hands dirty and earn a few scars in the process.